On behalf of drivers of buses, taxis, subways, and trains, and the producers of cars, motorcycles, mopeds, and skateboards, I petition that legs should no longer be a means of transportation. Legs provide free, on-demand transportation that requires no licensing or insurance. Legs operate 24/7 with absolutely no fuel costs and have zero emissions. This is not fair competition when legs are attached to every citizen. In the interest of protecting the livelihoods of bus drivers, taxi drivers, subway and train conductors, and also the producers of cars, motorcycles, mopeds, and skateboards, legs should be banned. The first step to equality is a tax on step-count. Secondly, we must enforce speed limits on pedestrians. To ensure fair competition, let it be that all walking beyond 50 meters a day is prohibited. An economy where people can use legs to get where they're going for free, is not an economy at all.
This was very well done. Definitely never thought about it this way before haha. This petition proposes a challenge and solution very well. Good stuff.